My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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