You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Congratulations! We have a period
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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