I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
