people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
