We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
