Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
