im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
