At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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