Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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