well I can't set my house on fire every night
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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