she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do vagina's smell?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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