Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
