did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
