He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
A bitchslap is in order.
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