Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
