Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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