It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
