Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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