Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
