I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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