Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
