i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
