I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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