You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
