I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
