And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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