after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
