oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
