I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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