If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
