As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
