Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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