11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
