Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
