Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
