dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
