cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
