bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ugly people sure do ruin things
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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