Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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