whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
