A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
