I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
