why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
