i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
