Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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