Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
