so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
