I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
