I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
