we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
