the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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